Gwen Stefani's Affiliate Linked Prayer
Celebrity Brand Deals and Promos, State of Culture + The Grab Bag
My brain has been riddled with thoughts of celebrity brand deals, partnerships, and sponsorships these last few weeks. My favorite recent partnership is the Pedro Pascal x AirPods 4 ad. He’s hot, we all love AirPods, The Last of Us season 2 press is kicking into gear, he’s hot. Many good reasons. It also has some great “memable” pulls - I walk around my house saying “You’re perfect. Now work it.” 10 times a day minimum. Match made in heaven. Parker Posey’s Gap commercial is also perfect to me and led me to pull up Gap’s site again. Though it pains me to mention the Seal seal again, I see the vision for Kiss from a Lime.
About a month ago I saw a Kim Cattrall ad pop up for Coin Master. I guess this is some kind of slot machine village game. I recalled that I actually saw Pedro Pascal in one of these same kind of commercials a year or two ago. No need to link it here - just treat yourself to the AirPods commercial again. These ads are always a bit of a shock to the system while you’re scrolling Instagram or between catching up on new music videos on YouTube.1 Kim Cattrall was paid $1 million for her couple minute stint in And Just Like That… so I know she will always get her bag. It’s just jarring to see her pop up in a commercial like this. Obviously, Kim is not playing this game. I would have thought the first time she laid eyes on a game like this was while filming this ad, but, in trying to find the Coin Master ad to link for you, I was shocked to find a Super Mario 3D Land commercial from 12 years also starring Kim Cattrall!2
Never did I think I would hear the words “The Tanuki suit is my particular favorite” come out of Kim’s mouth. I wish I knew how much she made from these ads, but good for her.
When we were in Budapest, we saw the Hell brand everywhere. I love European devil culture (particularly how it contrasts with the Satanic panic we’re always dealing with in the U.S.), so the branding itself stuck out to me. Hell makes energy drinks and iced coffee. And, of course, Hell is very proud to partner with Megan Fox. I particularly love the gracious quote Megan gave to solidify their partnership and demonstrate how she aligns with the brand: “I really love Hell Ice Coffee.”
Though I mostly find these partnerships fun and funny, there was one Instagram ad I saw while we were traveling that shook me to my core: Gwen Stefani x Hallow Prayer & Meditation app. I shared it to my personal Instagram stories mostly to laugh about this very strange video (Gwen in stark white, cross chain, nude lip, soft filter, less “It’s My Life,” more Anne Geddes baby portraits). Importantly, she also says you’ll join Christians around the world including the “incredible Mark Wahlberg” and I love when a new sentence is spoken that has never been uttered before in our beautiful English language.
I initially thought this was one of those “get your bag” moments - a bit goofy, very disingenuous. I thought this type of ad did not align with the Gwen Stefani I know whatsoever. I, like any other middle school girl in the 1990s/early 2000s, loved No Doubt. If Spotify wrapped came out in 2004, my top song would have probably been “What You Waiting For?” from Love. Angel. Music. Baby. I admittedly lost complete track of Gwen in recent years. I refuse to acknowledge The Voice or her marriage to Blake Shelton, so I’ve missed a few chapters. When I opened the comments on the Hallow ad above, I saw the same question commented repeatedly- wtf happened to Gwen Stefani?3 Seems like everyone was in the same boat as me.
A quick aside here in light of the affiliate linking and profiting off of prayer, which is famously free, it was brought to my attention yesterday that Trump’s chief faith adviser, Paula White, is offering seven supernatural blessings if you’ll only send her $1,000.00. With your gift you also get a 10-inch-high crystal cross and an olive wood communion set from the Holy Land. What in the Home Shopping Network is going on here?
Thankfully, a few days ago Matt Bernstein’s podcast, A Bit Fruity with Matt Bernstein released an episode on this topic: “Gwen Stefani: From Feminist to Fascist.” Ultimately, this is not disingenuous for Gwen. This is somehow who she’s always been. I honestly hadn’t thought about the “Harajuku Girls” from the Love. Angel. Music. Baby. album era for so long, but this episode really took me back. They cover everything from Gwen’s early trad wife tendencies, cultural appropriation, and why an ad for a prayer app that is backed by Peter Thiel and J.D. Vance makes perfect sense for her. Sad. Unfortunately, what starts for me as something funny online to poke fun at often leads me down a Peter Thiel shaped evil rabbit hole. Tale as old as time.
After listening to the episode and getting caught up on The White Lotus this week, all I could wonder is whether Gwen has repeated the Sam Rockwell monologue to herself over the years. “Or inside, could I be an Asian girl?”
It’s The Grab Bag
I feel like everyone is talking about The Artist’s Way all of a sudden. It’s a 1992 self-help book to help people with getting back on the creative path via teaching exercises and challenges. Seems to be destroying the girls, the gays, and the theys alike at the moment, so feels like we should all be aware of it in case it comes up in conversation.
Back to women we can still admire and respect, Miley Cyrus announced her new album, Something Beautiful, is coming out May 30. There will also be a film album to accompany it coming out in June. I can’t wait.
Ted Gioia released his “The State of Culture” newsletter over on The Honest Broker and it was excellent as usual. I started following him after last year’s entry, and it continues to be very poignant. The homogeny and standardization of everything is making me feel extremely blah, and his side by side logo comparison is a solid visual demonstration of what we’re dealing with here.
This also reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of The Ezra Klein Show from last year - “How to Discover Your Own Taste.” The episode rightly points out that everything is designed to cater to the algorithm, so it’s hard to find anything weird or unique. I still need to read the book discussed in the episode, Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture by Kyle Chayka, but it’s more relevant than ever and sounds like it would be a good companion to the Ted Gioia newsletter. I really have been trying to ask myself whether I actually like something or whether it’s just an aesthetic I’ve been trained to like. Solving this riddle is very hard, but worth overthinking in my opinion!
I’ve been meaning to talk about how Rihanna is releasing a new song for the new Smurfs movie. I initially confused this with Trolls movies (I haven’t seen a movie from either of these franchises). I associate Trolls with Justin Timberlake and worst song in recent memory “Can’t Stop the Feeling!” but since I now realize they’re unrelated I’ll withhold judgment.4
Something for Raleigh
Do y’all remember in last week’s newsletter when I said I had a relaxing weekend ahead? That was a lie! I was really surprising my sister, Halle, in Charlotte for her 30th birthday, and since she reads the newsletter I had to play it cool. We stayed at The Ballantyne hotel and it was a dream. It would make a great weekend getaway spot. Lovely spa, great service, and lots of walkable dining. It’s about 25 minutes outside of Charlotte.
Please don’t send me down any more Instagram ad rabbit holes for like a week at least.
Cheers!
Honestly, all commercials shock me anymore. I’m not on Facebook. I don’t watch cable. I don’t watch sports. They’re always a surprise.
The more I type Cattrall the more I’m convinced I’m not spelling it correctly!
I want to note briefly that I have no issue with people praying, but I think it’s absurd to monetize prayer. This is a paid app. It’s giving money changers setting up in the church! Flip the tables honey!
I don’t even think “Happy” by Pharrell has anything to do with either of these franchises, but it feels like it would if that makes sense. Not a compliment.
This reminds me of Tina Fey’s current rant on Amy Poehler’s podcast about celebrities having “side gigs” like Gwen’s. It is kinda dumb, but whatever to get that extra buck, I guess.